Teenage Boys are weird

I love my kid. He’s a massive pain in the ass sometimes and has destroyed many parts of my house(walls I’m looking at you), has run up our wireless bill, and our water bill. But I love him.

For all purposes he’s a normal kid. He has mild aspergers and ADHD/Anxiety issues. I call it the Triple A. I know, that’s extremely unoriginal.

I will say the kid has grown to be a good-looking kid, and I’m not just saying this as his mother. Many people tell me this. And the fact that when he’s out with me and girls who don’t know him from school turn to watch him go by, that reaffirms it. Of course, he’s oblivious. Which I suppose in some ways is great. It means I have less of a chance of becoming a grandmother before I turn 45.

However there are times I think the kid’s brains are located where he sits.

Prime example:

Today I take him for HS registration(I’m not even going to DISCUSS the schedule mess up, that’s still a flaming mess) and after I finally manage to find us parking after going around the confusing circle in front of his school four times, we head up towards the door. He takes off and does his best impersonation of Queen Elizabeth II. Meaning I’m Prince Phillip and walking 15 feet behind him.

As I’m curtly saying goodbye on the phone to his former Vice Principal-still trying to straighten out the mess- I see a cute blonde in a skimpy tank top and short, white shorts scream ” CHARLIE!!!!”

This little girl suddenly runs and hurls herself onto my son, who looks as if he’s been presented with an exploding volcano rather than a cute, teenage girl. He reluctantly hugs her and THEN I see the smile. Ah HA!!

I hang back and wait til this awkward exchange is done and she saunters off to see her friends. We walk  through the door, grab his info packet and move forward down the halls of his mammoth high school.

I turn to him and ask ” Soo who was the girl who just hugged you??”

His response” I really don’t know. She went to school with me but I don’t know who she was”.

(Now imagine the sound of me smacking my head against a wall. I didn’t but I wanted to).

We proceed as normal for a while. Every so often his head swirls when some young girl with short shorts walks past him(this trend has to die. I grew up in the 70’s & 80’s and I didn’t wear them THIS short).

About a half hour later he turns to me and says “Jessica. I think that’s her name”

Ladies and gentlemen, no one said teenage boys were the most intelligent people on the planet.

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